this i call to mind

"my soul is bereft of peace;

i have forgotten what happiness is;

so i say, 'my endurance has perished;

so has my hope from the LORD.'

remember my affliction

and my wanderings,

the wormwood and the gall!

my soul continually remembers it

and is bowed down within me.

but this i call to mind,

and therefore i have hope:

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death is gain

Does my life demonstrate that I am ready and willing to die for the sake of Jesus?

A true Christian must be willing to say, "I will not renounce Christ, even if it costs my life." But as soon as we say that, it makes a whole lot of things in our lives look ridiculous. I will die for you, but I can't find time to sit and read your teaching each day. I will die for you, but prayer doesn't seem real. I will die for you, but I can't talk to Jim about you at work. I will die for you, but I can't support your cause with more than 10% of my income. One of the best ways to bring wonderful Christ-honoring changes into your life is to measure your way of life by your willingness to die for Jesus.

John Piper

May I not be ashamed of the gospel! May I not forget the gospel! May Jesus be everything! May I not only be able to say, "I will not renounce Christ, even if it costs my life," but also "To live is Christ; to die is gain!"

Amen.

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the pursuit of wisdom (part 3)

Amid three portions of the Word dedicated to protecting a young man from the adultress (Proverbs 5-7,) Solomon seems to step away from that idea and sets aside a seemingly "random" section of proverbs entitled: "Practical Warnings." O take heed to his advice! (Proverbs 6:1-19)

There are a two simple things in this section that slap me across the face:

1. Be like an ant.

...Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise...(6-8)

Notice, first, the word used: "sluggard." Not "unemployed." Not "gamers." Not "leeches." Not "facebookers." Not "movie-gurus." And so, as we read the Word, we only read "sluggards" and we think, "Welp. That's not me! Verse 7...I'm so busy! All the time!" But, my guess is that the word "sluggard" encompasses all of those other words...and more.

This verse is a slap across my face, not because I consider myself a sluggard, but because I am one. Hours of my week are spent on facebook. Hours of my week are spent eating alone. Hours of my week are spent sleeping past my alarm and showing up late to class/work/etc. ("Hours" might be a slight exaggeration.) My point is this: it's SO easy to read the Word and think of your neighbor, and sibling, and coworker, and not yourself. I am a sluggard. And I must look to the ant as my example.

The second interesting thing about that verse, though, is the example: the ant. I laugh at this, because I am WAY bigger than an ant. I can squish an ant. No problem. I can kick over an ant hill. (In fact one time I did and they got me...anyways...) The point isn't the size or "greatness" of the ant. I don't really want to be like an ant in every respect. That would be lame. But, do look at the way the ant works. All of her time is spent working-investing in things that will benefit her in the long run. She has the big picture in mind while she works; she knows that winter is around the corner. O that I may be humble enough to learn from a small insect.

2. Don't argue just to argue.

...There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (16-19)

Again, don't hastily remove yourself from "the list." Haughty eyes...just haughty eyes? "Well I don't even know how to have haughty eyes...so I'm good..." Do you honestly think the problem is the shape of the eyes? Or could it be that pride might be the root issue? I am a proud person (and by the grace of God, fighting it,) though I don't think I've ever made "haughty eyes." God doesn't just hate haughty eyes...He hates pride. Be slow to defend yourself against the Word. Be humble, and (not to be seen and judged/applauded by others) admit that you are proud.

I don't want to write about each of those things: you get the point. (Plus, that would be too awesome of a blog post to even be a blog post!) But one of the things that I've learned a lot about, from experience, is the last in the list: "and one who sows discord among brothers." Sowing discord is very basically disagreeing just to disagree, destroying peace, or arguing just to argue. And God hates it.

This is a slap across my face. I must say, I like to argue. (I blame my experience in debate league for that.) But, by grace, I've come to the realization that arguing just to argue causes division (discord) that is stupid, tears apart friendships, makes people on edge with you just by virtue of your consistent, persistent, foolish argumentation. What am I accomplishing by arguing like a constant dripping? By sowing discord like Chinese torture? Nothing beneficial at all!

Of course, there will be some of you who read this and say, "It says not to argue! Well, that can't be right, we'll be indoctrinated by our culture and government and propaganda!" Don't be foolish. Read the Word. It says "among brothers." We are to resist the devil, to fight against flesh and blood, rulers and authorities of this dark world. But we are to live at peace with our brothers (ultimately, as far as it depends on you, with all people,) loving them, thinking of them above ourselves.

Of course, there will be some of you who read this and say, "Arguing is how I process my thoughts and respond to the propagation of lies in my world." Don't be foolish. Practice alone or in a setting where people are there to specifically coach/critique/help your argumentation. Don't sow discord among brothers, even if you're trying to strengthen yourself in your opposition of the enemy. You can accomplish that preparation elsewhere. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Of course, there will be some of you who say "I don't sow discord by arguing." Let me say, as one who sits on the objective outside, "You do." Don't be foolish. Stop arguing. Stop defending yourself and making excuses...in doing so, you are sowing discord. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Of course, there will be some of you who will say "Every criticism/confrontation is, in a sense, a form of 'discord.' Therefore, I will be tolerant of all things and love all people regardless." Don't be foolish. Speak the truth in love. Pastors, in particular. Mark Driscoll preached a sermon that very boldly addressed the issue of how to relate the sheep (the brothers) the wolves (the enemy) the sheep (the hypocritical brothers) and the dogs (the brothers who sow discord.) Lend your ear, if you can find the time: click here to listen.

Don't be foolish. Get your face slapped. Go to the ant. Love the brothers.
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the pursuit of wisdom (part 2)

If I didn't notice a proverb the first time around, I ought to notice it the third. Chapters 5-7 are divided into 4 sections, and 3 of those sections are warnings to a young man against adultery. Turns out this post only walks through some of my observations in chapter 5. PAY ATTENTION!

1. Hunger for wisdom.

"Incline your ear to my understanding..." 5:1

Refer to tpow (part 1) to be reminded of the necessity to pursue and hunger for wisdom. If we sit around hoping to pick up a nugget here and there, we will be grossly disappointed. We must offensively, proactively beg for wisdom and understanding.

2. Learn wisdom audibly, rather than experientially.

"[The forbidden woman's] feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol..." 5:5

This is a very elementary idea. I want NOT to experience death or wallow in Sheol in order to understand the severity of playing with the adultress. I want to be spared that! Not everything in life must be experienced. It's true. You can (apparently) learn other ways than experientially. Take special care, with regard to the "forbidden woman," to learn by listening and believing, rather than doubting and experiencing the real horrors of adultery. These horrors are only described in more detail in the following verses.

3. Do not play with fire.

"Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house..." 5:8

Do. Not. Go. Close. Instead of walking by the house of the adulteress, find a route that goes the opposite direction. Instead of hating discipline and reproof, willingly listen to the voice of wisdom. It will not go well with you to play with fire. If there is a line that should not be crossed, don't get near enough to see the other side. If there is a marshmallow that shouldn't be eaten, don't touch it or smell it! FLEE!

4. See the big picture.

"...lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and your body are consumed..." 5:9-11

If I were to sit on my deathbed and think back on my life, I certainly would have done some things differently. Here, the idea is to picture yourself on your deathbed and think about the things you wish you would have changed, and then live your life making those changes day by day. In essence, have the bigger picture of your life always in the forefront of your mind. Don't get so caught up in present comfort and pleasures that you sit on your deathbed on your last day, and wish you'd lived differently. You will have regrets if you fail to see the big picture.

5. Drink from your own well.

"Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you." 5:15-17

I'm a selfish guy, honestly, and I don't like other people drinking from my cup. At all. Other people don't like me drinking from their cups, either. It is common sense to say, "If no one likes sharing backwash, don't drink from their cup!" In the same way, a woman is not yours, lest she be your wife. I'm not a married man, but I am very jealous that my wife be mine, and I don't like the idea other people taking pieces of her. At all. Nearly every woman I see will be someone's wife. There will be a lot of jealous husbands who don't want other random, stupid dudes drinking from their cisterns. Drink from your own. And she's only yours when she's your wife.

What good is a well when the water is spilled all over the street? You can no longer drink cool, clean water, but it is now dirty and lukewarm and disgusting. As I do not want to sleep around, I do not want my wife to have slept all over the place. It ruins the water! There is something about pure water that makes it more attractive. Sweeter. Clearer. Cleaner. I want that. O for faith to fight!

6. Hide nothing.

"For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths." 5:21

Dave Matthews once sang "What's the use in hiding?" Not in relation to this verse. But it still works. What's the point?! A private sin is not a secret sin. The thoughts and heart and mind and intentions of man are seen plainly by God. Be terrified. Hide nothing. Have nothing to hide.

7. Deny self.

"...he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray." 5:22-23

My friend Aeric and I were talking about this very thing early in the week: we want to be in the habit of saying "no" to things we want, just to practice saying "no."

For example, today was a nice day, and I was working outside. I really, really wanted a slurpee. I could easily have driven for a minute, dropped $1.09 and filled my 64oz. slurpee jug and been satisfied. But I said "no." Just because.

We want to be men of discipline. We want to practice self-denial, that we may not die for lack of discipline in the things that really do matter. Take up that challenge, and once a day, say "no" to some thing that would be pleasing and enjoyable, simply to practice saying "no" and denying yourself. Do not die for lack of discipline. Be very much alive!

O for faith to fight! O for grace to conquer!

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the pursuit of wisdom (part 1)

It's been awhile since my last post. But that doesn't mean nothing's been running through my head...in fact, that's part of the reason why it's been awhile.

I began reading Proverbs this week, and was reminded of the gravity and indispensability of wisdom. I have been especially impressed this time around with how fervently I ought to long and hunger for wisdom. Consider this:

"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." 2:1-5

"The complacency of fools destroys them." 1:32

Oh how hard it is for me to heed the warnings:

"Be not wise in your own eyes..." 3:7

"My son, do not forget my teaching..." 3:1

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent." 1:10

Oh how easy it is to be a fool:

"Fools despise wisdom and instruction..." 1:7

Fools worry, despite their self-confidence and self-esteem... 3:5

Fools are more concerned with their self-sufficiency and independency than with honoring the Lord with their possessions and finances... 3:9

Fools read verses 3:9-10 and worship the god of the prosperity gospel.

Fools are "greedy for unjust gain"... 1:19

Oh how easy it is to forget the blessings accompanied with wisdom and the horrors accompanied with folly:

The wise will "dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster." 1:33

The fool will "call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but will not find me." 1:28

The wise will "be delivered from the adultress with her smooth words." 2:16

The fool will fall in with the adultress and "never come back, nor regain the paths of life." 2:19

The wise will "inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it." 2:21

The fool will "be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it." 2:22

"The wise will inherit honor..." 3:35

The fool "gets disgrace." 3:35

The wise "will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man." 3:4

Wisdom is "crying aloud!"

Am I listening? Or do I ignore her?
Do I listen to people older and wiser than me? Or am I wise in my own eyes?
Do I seek hard after wisdom? Or am I complacent?
Do I trust in the Lord? Or do I trust in me?

This rant was developed only from the first 3 chapters of Proverbs. Twenty-eight chapters to go. Pray that I may hunger and thirst for wisdom, humility, and righteousness.

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which mount?

This is a portion of the text I'm studying preparing for re:Generation Sunday night. This week I'm teaching on worship, and want to see how Jesus teaches about worship:

"Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship." Jesus said to her, "Woman believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." The woman said to him, "I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things." Jesus said to her, "I who speak to you am he."

John 4:20-26

"This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;

In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men."

Isaiah 29:13, quoted by Jesus in Matthew 15:8-9

Who do I worship?

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be still

God commands His servant, David, to "Be still and know" that He is God. I've been paying more and more attention to the fact that in this life, we spend so little time being still and silent. We try to "know" without being still. It is so often because of our noisy busyness that we set "knowing God" aside.

This song is a conversation between a man, who is trying to preach to Himself the faithfulness and character of God, and God, who is responding by telling the man to be still-to be quiet and listen. At the end of the song, the man realizes that the reason He does not "know" God is no fault of God's: it is his own noise and ignorance.

Be still my soul, be quiet and wait
In silence rest, for God shall save
You troubled heart, why do you weep
Do you know God, do you know peace

Be still and know that I am God
Be quiet for hope is not lost
Be silent for still I hear your cry
Be still for I am on your side

Amid the waves, amid the flood
Your hand is stretched and Your promise good
Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief
And let me hear You-hear You speak

Why do I worry? Why do I fear?
'Cause I am so noisy that I cannot hear
Your voice in the whisper: "Do not be afraid
For I am still faithful and mighty to save"

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god's plans for you aren't about you

One of the beauties of Christ that I often forget is His persistence and steadfastness and action in my life. Here's what I read the other day:

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life;

You stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies,

And Your right hand delivers me.

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;

Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Do not forsake the work of Your hands.

Psalm 138:7-8

That is crazy! To think that the God who sits in heaven and does as He pleases would take a personal interest in my life-enough to preserve it and deliver it-is astounding. But then to read the last part and understand that God saves my life, because He has a plan for it, and that His plan will come to pass, is so glorious!

It's so glorious because it's ALL about JESUS! The hope of God remembering the plans He has for man is fulfilled in Christ. All of God's business is about His Son. His plans for you and me are centered around His plans for Christ. All the purposes He has for us are summed, and completed and lead up to the glorious return of Christ:

I am sure of this: that He who began a good work in you

will bring it to completion at the day of Christ.

Philippians 1:6

God is using every moment of every day to do "good work." Though the work may seem painful, unpleasant, dirty, or just boring, it is good! And that work will be finished at the final, ultimate exaltation of Christ.

As I'm pondering these things, I'm overwhelmed at how Christ-centered God is! He acts in us to magnify Christ. He began a good work in us so that Christ might be the final exclamation point! He has plans for us that revolve around Christ. How beautifully and rightly selfish He is!

O Lord, do not forsake the work of Your hands!

But through my life reveal and magnify Christ!

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don't stop praying

I was recently able to spend some good, rich time in the Psalms, and observed something that I'd never noticed before.

To You I lift up my eyes, O You who are enthroned in the heavens!

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master,

as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress,

so our eyes look to the Lord our God till He has mercy upon us.

Psalm 123:1-2

I learned a few things about myself and how I pray in this passage. I realize that I don't pray enough. I pray. But I pray for something a couple times and call it good, as though God is able to act because I merely asked Him for a favor. But clearly there are two conclusions to be drawn from this text that contradict the form of prayer I'm accustomed to, and challenge me to pray differently.

---

1. God is merciful.

If we can only grasp the fact that yes, God is just, and yes, God is majestic, and yes, God is sovereign, and yes, God is above all things, and yes, God is omnipotent, but yes, God is merciful, that ought to radically change the way we pray. 157 times the word "mercy" is used in the Bible. Most of these references are people of faith begging to God to have mercy or to show His mercy to them. The beauty of the mercy of God is that it is not weak. His mercy displays His strength. We often associate mercy with weakness in emotion or weakness in will, but God, in his justice and strength chooses to display mercy to the sons of men. God is merciful and is interested in the affairs and struggles and troubles of your life, but He is not lacking power to save.

2. Pray until God acts.

The fact that God is merciful ought to drive us to beg Him to show His mercy, as it did the psalmist. But how does this work? Does God pay special attention to people who pray more than others? Does God hear louder the prayers the people who talk more than others? Does God give more consideration to the prayers of those who pray instead of sleep or eat?

My initial response would be to say "no" to each of those, because God hated the prayers of the Pharisees. I am, however, confident in saying that the more prayers (the more expressions of dependence and pleas for salvation) the more glory God receives. The restlessness and humility and ferocity and faithfulness in prayer motivates God to act. It's as though the psalmist is saying "God, we will not stop begging You to act until You do!"

---

I recently asked several friends "Why do you pray?" A lot of the answers were surprising to me. Some went along the lines of: "because it makes me feel good." True. Others: "because it's a chance for me to just let everything go." True. But it's so much more. John Piper summarizes prayer like this in His book Desiring God:

Prayer is the open admission that without Christ we can do nothing. And prayer is the turning away from ourselves to God in the confidence He will provide the help we need. Prayer humbles us as needy and exalts God as wealthy.

You see that prayer does much more than make you feel good. Prayer is the avenue of God's glory being released, revealed, and reveled in. It is both a means and product of His glory. Prayer is all about God.

As you pray, beg of God to act. Beg God to show mercy for the sake of His name and reputation. And don't stop until He does. And when He does, don't stop then either.

Additional Reading: John 14:13, John 15:5-7, Psalm 123, Psalm 119, John 4:9-10, Desiring God pp. 137-156

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build my house

A new year is a year of new beginnings. New commitments. New plans. New hopes. New friends. New calendars. As we look ahead to the new year and set our course, it seems as though we are able to accomplish whatever we set our mind to, because we are independent and determined and confident Americans. But lest pride and self-confidence take the better hand in our lives, remember:

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
Eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep.
Psalm 127:1-2

Apart from grace, no good thing happens--no good thing. Apart from the work of God, all our hopes and plans and dreams will be worthless.

May we not steal Your glory.

Additional reading: Ecclesiastes 12:1-8, Romans 8:31-39


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